Why the name?

So I should have known better than to try to start my blog right before Halloween and Young Women in Excellence but hey, it’s not like my life is going to slow down any time soon. So my goal moving forward is to post once a week, hopefully on Mondays.

That aside, I promised to explain my blog’s name. “On the Brink of Unshakeable” is play on my last name “Brinkerhoff” combined with a goal that I have and where I feel like I am in the pursuit of that goal.

I have watched too many of my friends struggle in the gospel sometimes over fairly simple things and I’ve worried at how easily that could be me. I know that at this moment I have a testimony of my Savior and a loving Heavenly Father but I don’t feel like it is where I want it to be. While remaining full cognizant of the fact that a big part of the challenge in this life is to exercise faith and not knowledge, I want my testimony and faith to be unshakeable.

I think of the account of Jacob and Sherem in The Book of Mormon. Sherem came to the land with all kinds of flattering words (sound like the propaganda that perpetrates our lives everyday?) and he led the people away and sought out Jacob with hopes “to shake [him] from the faith.” But Jacob said that “…notwithstanding the many revelations and the many things which I had seen concerning these things; for I truly had seen angels, and they had ministered unto me. And also, I had heard the voice of the Lord speaking unto me in the very word, from time to time, wherefore, I could not be shaken.” (Jacob 7:5).

That is what I want.

Not so much the angels and the voices (though I wouldn’t be opposed to heavenly visits) but the ability to say with confidence that I cannot be shaken. That’s the testimony that I want. I feel like I am on my way. I have heard heaven’s voice. I have felt the spirit. I have had thoughts come to my mind that I know are not my own. I’ve had answers to prayers that brought peace and comfort in turbulent times. I believe the accounts of my grandparents and ancestors who exercised amazing faith and saw miracles. I believe the accounts of so many others who have seen angels. I believe that my faith is on the brink of unshakeable and that someday I will arrive at unshakeable faith and an unshakeable testimony.

In case you were left wondering what happened to dear old flattering Sherem, he was confounded by the words and testimony of Jacob. Jacob knew the scriptures and knew his faith. He had the kind of strength and courage that I hope to attain on my journey in this life. Sherem ended up wanting a sign from God and he was smitten to the earth (as his sign) and died after admitting that he was deceived by the devil.

The devil is everywhere in our world deceiving even some of the greatest people I have ever known into falling to paths that are worldly and will end with misery. I hope and pray for them. I hope and pray to help others to avoid that path and to not be deceived. I hope everyone realizes that I am in the middle of this battle and that I have doubts and questions and that is why I am merely on the brink of unshakeable instead of perfect in my faith. I hope that others whom the world is trying to shake will find answers and comfort and strength from the promptings and thoughts that are truly not my own.

            

The beginning...

I want to start by saying that I didn’t want to do a blog. I do some journaling at home (not as much as I would like) and most of my family lives nearby. I don’t like putting lots of images of my kids out on the internet (though I have no objection to others that do) and I wasn’t sure that I had anything of value to bring to the Internet market of bloggers. But when the spirit tells you to do something then you just have to do it. I am writing this blog so that A) my facebook friends don’t have to see as many lengthy posts related to what I think or feel on a particular subject but have the option to instead click on the article and read it, B) because I have so many thoughts and doubts and questions of my own that putting the things that I do believe out for others to see can be a testimony building and strengthening experience for me (sorry now you found out that some of my motives are selfish – at least I’m admitting it up front) and C) is I have no idea but the thought to start this blog was not my own, of that I’m sure. The spirit knows what it’s doing and I’m trying my best to trust it.

I hope that this blog helps others with faith and with their testimonies of Jesus Christ. Upfront I want to say that I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and most of my posts will be directly related to topics and doctrine of my church. I love the Lord and am striving to do what he is asking me to do. I am an active member and am currently serving with the 14-15 girls in the church. I have four kids and don’t think that we’re done bringing wonderful spirits and bodies into this world (you knew that was your next question.) I am a stay-at-home-mom and am not always joyously enjoying the journey but most of the time I am happy & loving what I do. I do not resent motherhood at all but rather find it the highest and holiest calling available on the planet. I’m sure I will have posts related more to that. I’m a BYU grad and have deep pioneer heritage. In a lot of ways I’m a very stereotypical Mormon woman. Some people would automatically think that I’m very “cookie-cutter” and a blind follower. Some would assume that I am weak and suppressed. With all of my faults – none of those things are included in the list. I believe that God needs, wants, & has powerful people on his side. If you want to find strong and brave in this world, don’t go looking in the dens of the unbelievers. It’s easy to be weak-minded, buy into all of the world’s views and be spoon-fed your ideas by self-serving individuals. It takes guts to swim against the tide, believe despite extreme propaganda for doubt and to stand up when others choose to sit. I am strong, I am opinionated, I am smart, I love to read, I’m trying to always increase in learning and I like to say things the way that they are and not apologize for truth. I don’t think God’s laws are negotiable and I think it’s ludicrous that as humans we think we are better or stronger or more important than God. I have my own thoughts, beliefs and ideas. I am empowered by my beliefs, not suppressed and I never follow anything without knowing what I am doing and why I am doing it. So I am really strong, I am an informed follower of truth and there is nothing “cookie-cutter” about me. Besides I love “Pride and Prejudice,” tons of old TV movies and shows (I’m sure that I will make reference to them over the course of the blog,) I love music from the 50s & 60s and am an avid college football fan (to the point that I listen to college football podcasts while I clean) – how many Mormon moms have that mix all together and fit in that exact mold? Ha!

So here it goes…(insert ominous music here)…the blog.

(Disclaimer: I make no guarantees to the consistency on the time between posts on here)

I will add to the blog as I get moving but felt that starting somewhere was more important than getting everything in perfect order first. And today all that I want to really say is a thought this thought that I had:

Why is it that so many people are leaving their faith because the world’s views and arguments and rhetoric and values have changed and the gospel’s values haven’t changed with it? Shouldn’t that be a testament to truth? I don’t want to have anything to do with a church or God who change based on perceived public opinion.

Coming soon: an explanation of my title and blog name…(try to contain your anticipation and excitement)