Why the name?

So I should have known better than to try to start my blog right before Halloween and Young Women in Excellence but hey, it’s not like my life is going to slow down any time soon. So my goal moving forward is to post once a week, hopefully on Mondays.

That aside, I promised to explain my blog’s name. “On the Brink of Unshakeable” is play on my last name “Brinkerhoff” combined with a goal that I have and where I feel like I am in the pursuit of that goal.

I have watched too many of my friends struggle in the gospel sometimes over fairly simple things and I’ve worried at how easily that could be me. I know that at this moment I have a testimony of my Savior and a loving Heavenly Father but I don’t feel like it is where I want it to be. While remaining full cognizant of the fact that a big part of the challenge in this life is to exercise faith and not knowledge, I want my testimony and faith to be unshakeable.

I think of the account of Jacob and Sherem in The Book of Mormon. Sherem came to the land with all kinds of flattering words (sound like the propaganda that perpetrates our lives everyday?) and he led the people away and sought out Jacob with hopes “to shake [him] from the faith.” But Jacob said that “…notwithstanding the many revelations and the many things which I had seen concerning these things; for I truly had seen angels, and they had ministered unto me. And also, I had heard the voice of the Lord speaking unto me in the very word, from time to time, wherefore, I could not be shaken.” (Jacob 7:5).

That is what I want.

Not so much the angels and the voices (though I wouldn’t be opposed to heavenly visits) but the ability to say with confidence that I cannot be shaken. That’s the testimony that I want. I feel like I am on my way. I have heard heaven’s voice. I have felt the spirit. I have had thoughts come to my mind that I know are not my own. I’ve had answers to prayers that brought peace and comfort in turbulent times. I believe the accounts of my grandparents and ancestors who exercised amazing faith and saw miracles. I believe the accounts of so many others who have seen angels. I believe that my faith is on the brink of unshakeable and that someday I will arrive at unshakeable faith and an unshakeable testimony.

In case you were left wondering what happened to dear old flattering Sherem, he was confounded by the words and testimony of Jacob. Jacob knew the scriptures and knew his faith. He had the kind of strength and courage that I hope to attain on my journey in this life. Sherem ended up wanting a sign from God and he was smitten to the earth (as his sign) and died after admitting that he was deceived by the devil.

The devil is everywhere in our world deceiving even some of the greatest people I have ever known into falling to paths that are worldly and will end with misery. I hope and pray for them. I hope and pray to help others to avoid that path and to not be deceived. I hope everyone realizes that I am in the middle of this battle and that I have doubts and questions and that is why I am merely on the brink of unshakeable instead of perfect in my faith. I hope that others whom the world is trying to shake will find answers and comfort and strength from the promptings and thoughts that are truly not my own.